Facebook relationships — you either hate them or you love them, and if you love them, then this post is most definitely for you.
Does anyone actually enjoy being in a FBR at this age? How does it
even make sense to get in one? Do you really need that validation? Can’t
you be in a committed relationship without one? Aren’t we too mature
for that?
I totally get it if you are engaged or married, but if you’re not, do
you really need to display that across your friends’ news feed? News
flash: No one cares (and neither should you).
What happens if (and when) you break up? Do you know how awkward it
is that there is a “like” b*tton for your friends to support you? Oh
yeah, I totally liked your boyfriend before, but now that he’s your ex,
I’m going to like your status and comment incessantly. Seems mature and
rational…
And then what happens if you get back together — since we’re all too
familiar with the break up to make up routine? That’s even more awkward.
So even though we know what are you trying to say when you’re in a
FBR for all of the world to see, everyone else knows what you’re really
saying…
1. I’m insecure
I’m self-conscious, I know, and I’m not afraid to show it! You would
think someone who is insecure would shy away from online public displays
of affection, but when it comes to FBR, this is far from the case.
2. I care what strangers think about my relationship more than I care about my relationship
Why do you need to bring other people into your relationship? A
relationship is literally between two people, so why would you even want
to bring anyone else’s opinions into the mix? Do you realize how hard
it is dealing with just your significant other’s opinion?
3. I need attention
There’s really nothing like a FBR update to bring you into the focus of everyone’s attention.
You can basically guarantee this status update will comfortably rest on top of your friend’s timeline, aka mission complete.
4. I hacked my boyfriend’s Facebook while he was sleeping
There is no way there is a couple out there that feels the exact same
way when it comes to being in a FBR, unless they are in agreement they
hate it.
The awkward moment when your boyfriend is the one who wants to be in the FBR… now that’s an entirely different ball game.
5. I’m jealous
Nothing says “THIS IS MY TERRITORY” quite like forcing your significant other into a Facebook relationship.
6. I want to make you feel bad about yourself
As if your friends didn’t know you already had a boyfriend (at least I
hope they already knew), let’s just rub it in their faces a little bit
more.
7. I’m inexperienced
How do you know if someone is in their first relationship? They blast it all over Facebook.
8. I’m going to regret this in five months
The awkward moment when your boyfriend hits his boy’s bachelor party,
hooks up with a local causing a breakup, and you are forced to remove
this awful FB status.
9. I need everyone to know because I don’t really believe it
If you need a FBR to remind yourself you’re in a relationship, you may need to re-evaluate your choices.
10. I need social media to validate my existence
If you’re in a relationship, and it’s not blasted on Facebook, are you really in a relationship?
11. I’m probably going to follow up with this on Instagram and Twitter
If you need a social media platform to declare your relationship, do
you really think you’re mature enough to even be in one? This is
probably the quickest way to get unfriended.
If that was your goal, however, I applaud your efforts since we all know the only time we unfriend people is on their birthdays.
12. I’m needy
As long as you can own up to the fact that the only reason you want to
be in a Facebook relationship is because you’re needy, it’s fine by me —
I’ll just be sure to unfriend you once I get the notification.
13. I don’t trust him
Hm… you don’t trust your significant other, so you make him publicly
declare he’s in a relationship with you to fend off other women. That
makes total and complete sense — I wish you a long-lasting, happy
future.
14. I’m trying to stick it to my ex
Ah the real reason anyone actually gets into a FBR — the ex. As much
as we all claim we’re over it, you know you really aren’t if these are
the depths you’re sinking to.
15. I missed out on the time in college when it was cool to do this
If there were ever a time to succumb to a FBR, college would be it.
This is probably the latest you can get away with something as immature
as this.
16. I’m coming out
This may be the only legitimate reason to utilize a Facebook
relationship. When it comes to coming out — I have been told this is
quite the effective route to take.
You tell everyone at once, and you don’t have to worry about who you did and didn’t tell. The focus is on you, as it should be.
