After all, I live in a house full of boys. As a mom to three sons, I
have had to come to terms with a few things that only the mom of all
boys would understand.
1. Bathrooms smell like pee
It doesn’t matter if it was cleaned the day before or an hour before;
it will smell like pee. Why? Because pee inevitably ends up on the
toilet lid, the outside of the bowl, the floor and even the wall. It
goes everywhere, every single time.
2. No bathroom, no problem
Nature is their toilet.
3. Farting is just as vital as breathing
If I dare ask them to hold it in I am almost immediately deafened by
groans of agony. I’ve been told it’s just not healthy to hold them in;
it isn’t natural.
4. Clothes are optional
Unlike girls, boys only have one area that needs covering. So, why
not just run around in your underwear? It is so normal at my house I
don’t even notice. I’ve gone to get the kids out of the car to head into
the store only to realize one didn’t have any clothes on.
5. Legos are evil
Legos on the carpet, Legos in the baby’s mouth, Legos in the vacuum,
Legos under your foot in the middle of the night — Legos EVERYWHERE!
6. Nothing is boy-proof
Boys can be put in a padded cell and they will still manage to break a limb or slice open a part of themselves.
7. Pockets are multifunctional
Not only can they keep your valuables secure, but they can house any
number of insects, reptiles and other small creatures. Doing the laundry
is a lot more exciting with boys.
8. One simply doesn’t call “it” a man-hood
It can be called any number of silly nicknames, but never a man-hood. Apparently, that is weird.
9. The 30-minute beauty routine
When everyone else in your home takes 15 minutes — at most — to get
ready, you quickly learn how to make yourself presentable in a short
amount of time.
10. Everything can and will be used as a weapon or a pretend weapon
You might not want your kid playing with toy guns, but that doesn’t
mean he won’t. I’ve seen pencils, and even a piece of chalk, used as
stand-ins when playing the inevitable game of war.
11. Toys are not necessary
There is no need to bring toys along. A wrapper found on the floor
magically turns into a pirate ship sailing across the tile. Boys are
easily entertained.
12. Skittles can be dangerous
… when shot from a slingshot. As mentioned, anything is a weapon.
Sure, a slingshot is considered a weapon; but a skittle? The simplest
things can be used to cause harm. My oldest son once used a feather to
cause permanent scarring on my other son. It doesn’t matter if it’s
soft, hard, small, large, smooth or jagged; it can do damage.
13. Skylanders
I am just going to leave it at that.
14. Boys give the best hugs
OK, pretty much any kid gives a good hug. However, nothing beats a
hug from someone who thinks you hung the moon. Boys love their moms.
15. The pressure of being a good woman
Having only boys, you are it when it comes to their view on women.
You, and you alone, are tasked with being the mold they compare all
women to.
16. Communication is easy
No detective work goes into figuring out what they are really saying. They say what they mean.
17. What it means to be special
There is nothing like being the queen bee with a colony of helper
bees. Boys will do anything for their mom. Girls might want to emulate
their mom, but boys want to protect her.
It’s not always an easy job, being a mother to boys, but it definitely has perks and makes for a life that’s never boring.
